dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
whose parrot is this?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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