I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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