Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
