He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
