He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
