so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
