how hairy? two words: wookie tits
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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