I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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