if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
