I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
