you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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