a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i dont even know how to be here
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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