I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize