Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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