I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
