I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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