If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
