I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
