My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
