sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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