i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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