Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
