Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
