I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
