Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
