If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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