i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
