Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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