too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
