In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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