i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
