so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
