what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
