i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
