at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
