come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
