I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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