So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
