That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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