to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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