Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
