I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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