Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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