do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
