She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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