in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
