I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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