Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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