But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Can I color on your dick again?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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