Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
